I was actually supposed to start a book blog since I love books, but here I am now, writing about my depression. How did that come to happen you wonder? I have no f-ing idea. One moment I was writing a book review of this awesome book I just read. A book I can’t seem to remember the name of now by the way. Thanks memory. THANK YOU! Also, thank you for making me forget to buy toilet paper; AGAIN!
Anyway, back to the why of all whys. As I was saying (or writing?), one moment I was writing a book review and the next thing I know I’m writing about how I gave my depression a name. Like people don’t think I’m cray cray IRL as it is? Now I seem to want all of Internet to think it to.
The reason why I came to introduce Sven to all of cyberspace doesn’t really matter. What matters is; what the purpose of introducing Sven to you is. God, am I making any sense of am I just speaking about the same thing but formulating it differently?
I apologize; I have not slept very much lately. Due to Sven and also the fact I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac. I really need to see a doctor about the not-sleeping-thing, ‘cause that shit is driving me crazy.
I want this blog to highlight what depression really is. How it feels, not just inside of you but on your skin, how it blurs your vision and makes your brain go all blank. I might as well have a coconut for a brain, you know, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
I want people to feel the anxiety crawling in their veins, I want them to feel the pulsing sensation of a suicide thought coming on. You know, the ones that makes your whole body go numb. I want them to experience the symptoms of a depression without even being in one. Maybe then they might not think so lightly of it. Maybe then, people might talk more about it. Maybe then there might be less of the ‘Oh come on, cheer up’ or that godawful ‘[Insert job/school assignment/appearance-crisis here] makes me so depressed’.
Because I hate that shit. It’s disgusting.
That’s what stigmatizes depression.